our little person!

To our dear little person,

We are so excited but so nervous about having you!  We don’t know if you are a boy or girl yet, and calling you just a baby doesn’t seem affectionate enough for how I feel about you.  I have started calling you my little person these last few weeks.  We can’t wait to find out if you are a boy or girl, it drives your dad nuts that he can’t know right now.

When we found out we were pregnant, your dad couldn’t sleep that night and he kept waking me up every few minutes to talk about you.  At first we thought you were coming in the beginning of August.  I was so glad that I wasn’t feeling very sick with you!   Little did I know, you were still too little to cause any of that yet!  When we went in for the 8 week appointment to listen to the heart beat, nothing was there and that gave us a scare!  Luckily, you were ok you were just 6 weeks old instead, and then the nausea set in about a week later.  I haven’t thrown up with you except for once when a man smelt so bad of smoke on the bus ride home from school.  But I sure have wanted to throw up all the time, day or night!  I also just want to sleep all the time.  Sometimes I go to bed as early as 8 or 8:30 at night.  Certain foods I love like milk, chocolate, and onions make me so sick right now.  I have heart burn with you whenever I eat anything!  If I drink water it even hurts! 

Why am I telling you all of this?  I guess it is to tell you that even with all of these changes to my body, I still can’t believe you are really in there!  I can’t believe that I am your mommy and sometimes my life doesn’t seem any different.  I can’t wait to feel you move; I think then it will dawn on me that you are really there.

There are days when thinking about you makes me so giddy inside.  I just smile and laugh out loud.  This is of course when no one else is around!  There is a hymn that explains this joyous feeling I have about you:

My life flows on in endless song:

Above earth's lamentation,

I catch the sweet, tho' far-off hymn

That hails a new creation.

Through all the tumult and the strife

I hear the music ringing;

It finds an echo in my soul--

How can I keep from singing?

What tho' my joys and comfort die?

The Lord my Saviour liveth;

What tho' the darkness gather round?

Songs in the night he giveth.

No storm can shake my inmost calm,

While to that refuge clinging;

Since Christ is Lord of heaven and earth,

How can I keep from singing?

I lift my eyes; the cloud grows thin;

I see the blue above it;

And day by day this pathway smooths,

Since first I learned to love it.

The peace of Christ makes fresh my heart,

A fountain ever springing;

All things are mine since I am his--

How can I keep from singing?

I just want to sing when I think about you.  You really are a miracle, for more subtle reasons than the fact that you are a baby inside of me.  You see, I used to not want to be a mom at all.  This was because I didn’t think I would be any good at it.  I consider you a miracle because of what your Father in Heaven has done with my heart and how he has gently prepared me to be your mother. It took a long time for me to be brave enough to take this step and try for a baby.   I told your dad that that when I get scared about you that I will need him lots and lots to help me get through it.  I want to be the best mom you could ever ask for.

I got to see you a lot on Friday at the doctor's appointment.  You were moving around a ton!  I wish I could have felt it!  Your dad was so bummed that he wasn't there to see it and he asked all kinds of questions about what you were doing and what you looked like.  He is pretty excited to come with me to the doctor when we find out if you are a boy or a girl.

            You can’t comprehend how special you are to your dad already.  He has wanted you since the time we got married, and probably before even that.  He told me once that he couldn’t think of anything else in his life that would be a greater accomplishment than to live for his kids and how cool it would be to teach you things and to go to your events/activities and cheer you on.  He likes it when I send him emails at work that show him what new body parts and development you are making each week.  He will be a silly daddy that will make you laugh and I’m sure he will tease you lot’s and lot’s!  I know he can’t wait to play games with you in the backyard.  I can’t wait to see how he is around you and how he interacts with you.

            Your grandma Brady has also wanted you for so long!  She has been asking us for years when you would be here and why we haven’t gotten you here sooner.  She is going to want to spend so much time with you and she is already planning on saving all of her vacation time to spend with you.  She likes to cook and make crafts and things.  She has already made you a blanket and some bibs before we even knew you were coming.  She also likes music, a love that runs for generations on her side of the family.  I hope you get that love from her and from me.

I am also pretty excited to see my dad with you, and to see him transform into a grandpa.  Grandpa Brady really likes to hunt as well as to spend lot's of time in the mountains.  I hope he instills this love in you as he has me.  He has some lessons that are pretty important to learn, because people are forgetting them, and Grandpa Brady is one of the few people left who still knows these secrets.  I hope you will listen eagerly to what he has to teach you.  When you get big enough, I’m sure you will join us on family hunting and camping trips.

Your Brady uncles are pretty excited to have you around.  I’m sure they can’t wait to teach you all sorts of naughty things and can’t wait to see all the funny and cute things you will do.  Uncle Kaulan has been wishing you were here for about two or three years now.  I think he feels left out that he didn’t have a little brother or sister because he was the youngest.  Uncle’s Kalen and Kanden will also be so much fun for you and I think you will be such buddies with all three of your Brady uncles.

I guess I’m telling you all of this because I hope you know not only how excited I am for you to be here, and how excited your dad is for you, but there are so many people who can’t wait to meet you.  We wonder what you will look like, if you are a boy or girl, and what kind of personality you will have?  But we just want you to know that you are our little person, and we already love you so stinkin’ much!